Sunday, January 31, 2010

Spanish cars don't need airbags

If you ask any Spaniard about San Miguel Beer, he or she will tell you it's a great Spanish beer. If you ask any Spaniard about Walt Disney, he or she will tell you he was of Spanish descent. Of course, we know both answers are wrong. San Miguel is a Filipino beer and Walt Disney's ancestry traces back to Ireland.

But now comes the kicker: Who was responsible for the Allied victory in Europe during WWII? Why, Juan Pujol, a Spanish spy of course. Thanks to Pujol, the story goes, he convinced Hitler the Allies would never land at Normandy, and thus, the area needed no further reinforcements. So, as far as Spain is concerned, Europe owes its freedom to Spain. Forget the fact Franco was Hitler's pawn.

The Spanish believe they are the best at everything. And if they're not, then it's not worth mentioning or watching.

Last November, after the final race of the season at Dubai, a news anchor at the government controlled TV station said, "So ends the most boring season in Formula 1 racing we've ever seen." If memory serves me right, last season was anything BUT boring. We had a Cinderella team beating the big guns, we had controversy surrounding the diffusers, an impending breakup of the FIA, race fixing and the lifetime ban of Favio Briatore. That's boring? The reason the season was "boring" for Spanish newscasters is because Fernando Alonso didn't do jackshit all season long. Fernando Alonso, the greatest driver Formula 1 has ever produced. Michael who?

Until 2008, Wimbledon was never seen on TV. Why? Because Rafa Nadal always crashed out in the early rounds. For the Spanish, the French Open was the most important tournament on the tennis calendar. Needless to say, Nadal won at Roland Garros five consecutive times.

And let's not even get started on Pau Gasol. The reason the Lakers are so good is thanks to Pau. Forget Kobe. He (and the team) would be nothing without Pau. The Lakers may be NBA champions, but Spain is World and European Champion.

However, this hubris is not limited to sports. In politics, president Zapatero kept saying the Spanish economy was in the Champion's League of world economies. Never mind that we were headed to financial ruin with a 20% unemployment rate, increased public spending and an ever-increasing budget deficit. We're Spain and we're the best. Thanks to the Spanish economy, the euro is down against the dollar. OK, to be honest, Greece also played a part in that.

So, my premise remians. With so much hot air in this country, who the hell needs airbags?